i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
