i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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