But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
