My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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