I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so let's talk penis.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Couch. On fire.
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