We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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