I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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