i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize