why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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