Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
