flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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