If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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