I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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