I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
