I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
