I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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