How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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