White coat. Heels.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
