how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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