Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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