i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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