I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"I licked someones beard, because I can."