haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?