Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
