you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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