saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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