are you still at the devil's house?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
A bitchslap is in order.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
