Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
