You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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