Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
