Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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