I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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