Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just cropdusted the office
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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