my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
