a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
