do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
