is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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