can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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