The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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