You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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