I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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