The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
