So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
