Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
