Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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