Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.