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• (954): View more from Florida

  just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day

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• (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.

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• (516): View more from New York

  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste

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• (315): View more from New York

  And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  You don't know the capacity of my vagina

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals

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