Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
