I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This house was built for laser tag.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
