at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
