I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize