He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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