we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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