false alarm. still invincible.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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