we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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