Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
