Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
