I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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