Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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