sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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