nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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