we made out on top of his cat.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
